When I get Body Sad, I try so many things to right myself. Seeing pictures of myself help. Especially the outtakes, which are often totally awkward looking and kinda hideous. But I study them. Every discolored blemished fold. And I get used to me. All over again, I get used to being the ME that is carried by this vessel.
And then there are a few pictures that make me smile. Like my kitty walking by and me grabbing him into my arms. So I’ll post those. Because right now I don’t want to show me naked for the porn blogs. I want to show me bare and needing love and acceptance, for the fatties.
Today, I feel powerless and hideous. I’m working to recognize my feelings, to own them and analyze them for what they are. I am so glad to see young fat babes on here doing this same thing. And I wish I was 16 again so I could face this back then, not at 33. But, better late than never.
I envision myself in twenty years finally being free, and honoring the woman I was at 15, 25, 35, and 45 for going through what she went through. And to all of you, too. With all your scars, all your memories, all your fears, all your bravery. I find you all very inspiring, and thank you for every fat naked picture I see, because it helps me tremendously.
For every journey that is running parallel to mine, safe travels.